Today’s devotional hit hard in my Heart. After Logan’s accident I chose not to ask for all the details surrounding it. I had to know a few because the were a really important part of the story. One detail Was that our 6 year old was with my friends older son when they found Logan in the waters. I can’t imagine how that could be for both of them but sometimes I think I can understand a sliver of it because that was one of the images that have flashed in my mind from time to time. Clear as day like I was right there too. I’ve been praying for God to take it away and replace it with better memories of her and He has been faithful in that request. I still get them but not as often as I was. I hope that to be true for those kids too. I have been praying for them as well. Why am I sharing this? We’ll mostly to say I don’t know any other detail really than that. I didn’t want to know the details because they won’t bring Logan back. They won’t change the story. Knowing the details won’t bring peace to my heart, only God can do that. Wanting to know the details or why this was written into our story is human and trust me my mind has often wandered into the why, how, what if’s but if I’m really honest about these questions they are coming from areas in my heart where I’m not trusting in God’s perfect plan for our lives. Even in the really hard detail of knowing what our kids saw that day I trust that God has a plan for good in all of this sadness. When I go to the how, why and what if’s I stop and pray Ofer the questions and pray that his peace covers my heart and mind. It’s really easy to sit there and ask “what did I do to deserve this?” But I also know that God isn’t a God of works he is a gentle and loving God and I’m trusting in the bigger picture of his plan. It’s not easy and some days are an absolute struggle to find that peace but it comes and my heart settles. I’ve talked a lot about fear and how Satan uses fear to keep you from experiencing the life God wants you to live. I think part of the questions that surround any tragedy is fear of the unknown. When we have unanswered questions thats fear’s way of sneaking in to stop you from experiencing joy. The counter reaction of that is God’s peace and love he pours out to give your heart rest. In these last months I’ve totally surrendered my life to God, to his will for my life, to not questioning his plan but trusting it’s good, to glorify him through my pain and to honor Logan as best as I can and to loudly proclaim I WILL NOT FEAR and give Satan no victories in my life!! 💜🦋🐓
I Am The Church!
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I don’t know why God writes the way he does and sometimes I want to be his biggest critic, and think he’s a real shitty