I don’t know why God writes the way he does and sometimes I want to be his biggest critic, and think he’s a real shitty author, but when we step back on the day when we’ve reached the end of our life here on earth, we will see he’s the best author if we allow him to write our story instead of us trying to take his pen away. I’ve wrestled with him, mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally, but I was reading something that really hit home this week… Matthew 16:18 “and I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail” I read that before thinking of Gods church as a whole, a building a real big building, a movement. But it struck me. I AM THE CHURCH! I’ve built my foundation on Christ, he is my cornerstone and before Logan went to heaven my foundation was probably still drying, still wet cement. I wanted a deeper more intimate relationship with God and it took Logan going to heaven to give that to me. God gave me Logan and she gave me a solid foundation. Dry cement that she put her hand print on. And because of that, Christ is in me and I am his church and Satan will not win here because he can’t! I think of the jump I made off the pond swing this past summer, fear kept me from jumping so many summers before. I kept looking at that platform as a stronghold that Satan had on me so I vowed to break those chains and I DID! Gods strength is incredible you just have to let him do the heavy lifting. I didn’t understand that last month and I tried to carry that weight and was crushed. I still have so much to learn and I hope I still have a lot of pages to my book, even though I feel like it’s already pretty thick. Where I use to be afraid of that final chapter, those final words, now I can’t wait for my “it is finished” so I can go home and be with my baby girl and experience the glory of God first hand just as she is now. I will continue to live this life as best as I can to honor both God and Logan because together, they along with my grandma who formed my foundation, made my soul come to life and I won’t take that for granted.
The Bigger Plan
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Today’s devotional hit hard in my Heart. After Logan’s accident I chose not to ask for all the details surrounding it. I had to know