About

How do you start off a story that’s so incredibly painful to write or read for that matter? I know this has been coming but it’s all so hard to say and relive too. This story didn’t effect just my family but other families too… School had just let out and we were set to attend an award ceremony for my oldest daughter at her school. I wanted it to feel special for her without distractions and so we could focus on her… being the oldest of 4 sometimes it’s hard to be the center of attention for a bit. So I did what I did 2 days prior when my daughter Grey also had an award ceremony for school, I asked my dear friend to watch our kids so we could attend the ceremony. Hair curled, dress on, I was ready. My husband left a little earlier than I did, I stayed behind to chat a little. Women like to do that ya know… 5:15 came and I went out the door not thinking twice about anything. I arrived at school and ran across Grey’s teacher and thanked her for such an incredible year and went and took a seat in the auditorium. It felt like a few minutes had passed when I looked down at my phone and noticed a distress text from our friend. 911. Logan. I ran out and called to find out that our sweet Logan went to our backyard pond and drowned. The ems team was there working on her and there were also some police officers present. I ran back to tell my husband there was an emergency with Logan and we had to go. We rushed out of school to the hospital. Knowing nothing about her condition we got there as fast as we could. They told us they took her to a different hospital because of the trauma. We knew it wasn’t good. We sped to the other hospital and waited for her arrival. We got there before she did and that was another gut punch. When she arrived at the hospital she had no pulse but the emergency room workers didn’t give up. My husband and I fell to our knees and prayed like never before. God, please don’t take my baby was all I could say over and over again. Our pastor arrived and we all prayed. There, she did get a pulse! Hallelujah!!!  We thought this was the miracle we were praying for! They got her as stable as they could and sent her up to the pediatric unit. They did cat scans and x-rays before we could get in the room as well as placing lines in her hip to get an accurate blood pressure count. Along with the iv’s she was also hooked up to a ventilator. Her heart was beating from the Epinephrine in her iv. By the time we got to see her my baby had so many lines coming out of her and her body was cold. They put her on a warming bed and eventually was able to raise her temperature. I held her hand most of the night begging God to save her. Asking him to take my life instead. Pleading for a miracle. Many of our friends and family gathered to pray that night too. Strangers were praying for us… it was incredible to see. I told friends that I could picture Jesus in her room wiping her face patting her head. I know he was there and she was never alone from the moment her body touched the water. I know he was with her even before then. The doctors read her scans and the swelling on her brain was immense. They said they typically saw that kind of swelling with head injuries that were two days old and the swelling was just going to get worse. They hooked her up to an eeg monitor to scan for waves of the brain. That sat so still all of the night. By morning we knew Logan was only staying “alive” with machines and she was destined for heaven. God placed that knowledge on both my heart and my husband’s heart. We told the doctors we were ready to say our goodbyes. Our pastor came in and prayed with us. I held my baby in the same hospital she was born in as her body slowly let go with my husband holding us both… that is the story of the worst day of my life.